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Principles
1. Decide on who and why2. Get to know the text3. Put the best bit first4. Slash everything else5. Edit sentences6. Put "if" before "then"7. Demolish walls of words8. Launch and land on the same name9. Rest it then test it |
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5. Edit sentences Turn your writing into a conversation with your reader.
Talk to "you"When we read, it's easier for us to find our place in the sentences if we find a 'you'.
Reveal the actorIf you reveal who does what, you'll make it easier for people to understand your sentences. If the sentence reveals the actor, we call it "active voice".
If you can't write 'we' then say exactly who does whatSome organisations won't let you write as 'we' and 'us'. Don't hide behind passive voice. Spell out who does what.
Kill "should"The example started with "A visa should not be granted until". The word "should" is extra confusing. Some people think it means 'must', others think it means 'may'. Go through your sentences to kill "should". You'll have to find out whether 'must' or 'may' is correct. Use familiar words in familiar waysLet's try a different example: "required fields". If you design web forms, that probably means "questions on the page". If you're a farmer, you may struggle to know how 'required' fits with a place where sheep graze. |
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Sometimes you deliberately want to conceal the 'actor' in a sentence, or the actor is unimportant. If so, you can put the sentence back into the passive voice. But try putting it in the active voice first so that you are sure the passive is definitely better.
If you're not sure about actives and passives, then try
chapter 10: Tuning up your sentences
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by Caroline
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